from now on my penis is your penis
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A+ Viking dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
