I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
