i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
