so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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