He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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