I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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