Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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