today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
