last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize