good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
