sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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