she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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