HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
