What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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