I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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