The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
