I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
