It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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