I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
