Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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