Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
