And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
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