I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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