Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
