Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
