I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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