I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
