Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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