She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
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