shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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