Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
