I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
