ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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