i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
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