maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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