i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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