Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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