hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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