i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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