we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
