Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize