I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
