Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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