I wanna passion pit in your ass
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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