my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
