Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I see more hoeing in ur future
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