so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
