Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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