I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
