Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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