his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
