I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
