But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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