Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
