i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
