is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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