we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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