How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
