If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
