Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
