Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
