Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
