woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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