Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize