yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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