I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
