honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize