Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
