No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
