kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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