wrigley field is MILF paradise
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do vagina's smell?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize