Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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