i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
