Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Alive.
So much puke
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize