glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
