I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All I want is dick and wine.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
