I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
