so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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