Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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