Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
