matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
