I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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