Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
