I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
