Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
