Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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