who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
